BTFM

Being there for me , if you know what it means .

Means that no matter what kind of ship it is , you’re part of a team.

So why do I still feel alone ?

Even though that’s what you said, I don’t feel like I am at home .

When I wake up , I Moan.

When my back aches, I groan.

People can’t  see what I mean , I’m gone .

I’m been standing here , trying to show you something .

Giving me that hug when I am low means everything.

Praying to God to deliver me from this sadness.

Praying  I don’t succumb to my madness.

Therapy and medicine go hand in hand .

Those are cool but  I need someone that understands.

Encourages as friend and as a man.

Someone who can throw me a line that I catch with my hand .

Maybe I not making any kind of sense.

That’s because my brain is so tense.

Trying to relax.

Only speaking facts.

I’m tired of feeling this way.

I’m tired of this being the only thing I say .

Lord let me be okay .

I believe in him for better days.

Really trying not to give up..😖

 

Maybe I should give up.

Giving up on stuff.

I spend to fill a endless void.

To live like this is a choice .

I have this need to explain 

Even so it’s seem like all I do is complain.

Never really happy or at peace .

I don’t know how to really keep .

Keep whats important to me .

I’ve lost so many times .

I’ve wrote about this in so many lines.

I can’t act like I am fine .

Maybe it’s not in the cards.

All the pressure tells me it’s too hard.

All I want to  do is to go somewhere far .

No not the bar.

Somewhere I can think.

Where I can safely blink.

Where I don’t feel like all I am is a problem.

I have figure out how to solve them .

Cause what I am doing not ain’t working .

Gotta do something .

It’s better than doing nothing .

If I give up now , it’s really is the end of the story.

That’s when I really should worry .

I still have time to make it right .

Let please make it through these rough nights.

Let me not always resort to drinking 1-3 cans.

I’m not saying it’s impossible but it can be hard when you go down that path.

Gotta think about this as if it were math.

One person plus one opportunity equals a chance each day .

After all we tell the negatives not today .

I Still Got It...😕

Why am I in my head so much these days?

Lately in conversations , I really don’t have much to say .

One thing I know is that this  is depression.

Sounds like I’m in a need of a therapy session.

Yet when I speak I go off track.

When I get cut off, I just want to snap.

Trying to keep my cool or enough to stay sane.

Trying to hold on to my life in this crazy game.

I don’t want to be a burden to my friends.

I don’t want this to be the end.

Holding it all in so I don’t make anyone my therapist.

Gotta get back on my feet so I can take care of this .

Taking care of me overall is a necessity.

Too many opinions is something I don’t need.

Everyone has their place .

Everyone goes at their own pace .

So for right now I don’t need ppl all in my face .

When you aren’t the same they just leave you be.

I guess they think if they leave you alone so they can be free.

That’s just an opinion, I didn’t say i was right.

Speaking my mind on these lines here, I ain’t trying to fight .

So let me do right by me  and tell myself that it will be alright .

just wondering?

why  do I ask questions?

To understand  the current situation.

Don't want to get anxious or even overthink.

I've come so far after  being on the brink.

I never want to go back to that again.

Thats why I am taking this slowly,  I hope you can understand?

feels like I am in love.

This feeling can only come from above.

Love it when comes to kisses and hugs.

Its all smiles now, no more mean mugs.

When I look at you.

I see a person who accepts me for who I am and that's cool.

You see me for all that I've gone through.

I appreciate that. 

Let me cherish these moments with you instead of having an attack.

I know that I am still getting to understand the kind of person you are.

Even if you live pretty far.

It feel like you're so close.

Enjoying what we do the most.

I'm talking about the convos, the way that things just flow.

Mutually it helps us both.

Make me feel like there is some kind of hope.

Through my struggles, writing is how I cope.

Even now , I'm still writing but I've chosen to write about you.

I know I don't have to .

When you feel that warm feeling that doesn't leads to the motions.

Instead. To me you are more like the sight of a sunrise on the ocean. 

That's what I feel like  when I am with you just talking.

Spending time with 

Sleeping next to.

Where this life takes us, I hope it's where we can grow and prosper.