Panicking during a Pandemic.

 

I do what I can each day and still I feel the same.

Being positive needs to be my focus until negativity doesn't remain.

Here I am just wondering if I am letting the past take over me.

Why can't I just be me?

I am really not even thinking about what happened back then.

I am at the point where a new chapters begins.

Two weeks into recovery and my back still hurts,

My mind is lost and my chest feels even worse.

As this rate, the slightest bit of help is needed.

I am doing what I am suppose be doing so why do I feel defeated?

Oh it's that nagging thought in the back of my head.

I'm still grateful to be here and not end up dead.

The one thing I think about more than anything else.

That thing that I felt.

I don't really like talking about it.

I have before.... I am trying not to be nostalgic,

What used to be.....Fucking Pandemic.

It ruined Everything,

It really did or maybe that was me.

I don't know anymore.

I'm just not happy and I really try to be.

People just don't get it the fact that it is hard.

I've come so damn far.

Yet the obvious is always stated.

I really hate it.

Pointing it out, talking to me like I am dumb,

I am not useless. I am someone.

I feel like I am there for a reason or something more.

I'm not a bore, or  here to do your damn chores.

I just want to open that fucking door.

So I don't have to worry anymore