Poem at 5 in Da morning.

When I am on Social media scrolling, I ask myself why?

Why do I bother scrolling down looking at other people's lives?

I need to focus on my own.

I need to put down my phone.

It is at times a necessary distraction.

However it is now time for action.

Prep and Plan for today.

Letting my thoughts flow, I'm writing down what to say.

Learning to become an optimistic individual

I'm trying not to be pessimistic as usual.

It is these little sparks of hope that tell me that it will be alright.

There is already enough conflict within me, let go of the that internal fight.

That is what I choose to tell myself as I approach something new.

A do it yourself project that gives me purpose in what I can do.

I have to do what is necessary.

Like learning to drive, the road makes itself known to me.

Familiar in its' design calling me to my destiny.

Taking care of myself physically and mentally.

 Respecting God, friends and my family.

The sand flows and at the bottom is the full amount.

There is still time and every second counts. 

Ain't no time to grumble about this or that.

Crap

Its 5 in the morning, I should just go to sleep.

Well at least I wrote this, so that is pretty neat.

Thank you for allowing me to Share.

Good morning and Take care.

 

 

For those who just up and leave.

As time goes by, I think of those who I no longer talk to.

Losing friends, to me that's anything but cool.

 The thought of me doing something bad to my friends purposely.

I am against that with every fiber of my being.

That being said, there are those who left without saying anything.

I don't know whether they are alive or dead, not knowing hurts me.

Why did we fall off? Was it something that I did?

I rack my brain trying to comprehend this.

Someone could say maybe it was them who wanted to go.

Understanding that we can be busy at times, but still overall that blows.

Whether the friend be male or female, still miss talking to them regardless.

The world keeps on spinning despite their absence.

However, I must understand despite it being very hard.

That through all the struggle, I have come very far.

There are times when I am doing something, and I think of them.

I quietly say, I wish you and I didn't have a problem.

I wish y'all could be here with me having a blast.

All I have left of those people are good memories from the past.

Yeah, I know, good things don't always last.

So, for those who are still here, just know that I am glad.

Glad that you are still here.

Glad that you haven't left even in the worst of times.

Not saying those who did leave didn't have their reasons.

I just wish I knew, so I could have closure for the seasons.

Respecting their choice as I know I will no longer hear their voice.

Wish I could talk to them but only time will tell.

I just pray and hope for you to be well.

Grateful for the moments we shared

Even though you are no longer here, just know that I actually cared.

Thank You

Peace

It's A Poem .

 Don't you just wonder, where do you go from here?

Well there is still time, its only the beginning of the year.

Circumstances are difficult and at times it just feels the worse.

The bible is calling , time to pick a verse.

Phillipians 4:13

I can do all things through christ which strengthen me.

 take that verse to heart.

The enemy is working on trying to make  you fall apart.

Telling you  that you aren't good enough.

That  you'll never make it  and you'll always be stuck.

Not me , not this guy.

Positive vibes.

Energy is way too high.  

In the end , we do what we can.

Not everyone will come to understand.

You are unique.

You are meant to be somebody.

Granted, it won't come right away.

There's bound to be good and bad days.

Just keep your faith strong.

Remember if something is said about you, it can be wrong.

It only has power if you let it.

Its not worth getting into a fit.

People just stew around in their own BullS**t.

Take heart of any small victories that may come.

Time is finite, it is one and done.

Mistakes can be made and learning from them is good.

Knowing at least that you did the best you could.

So each day is a chance to be better.

Even if the day comes with some ridiculous weather.

The storm is random but it never stays for long.

Predictions are something else at even at times, they can be wrong.

So go with the flow, let things happen naturally.

Clear your mind of doubt, for you have not seen true beauty.

This world we live in is the only one have.

it's really is bad to spend your time just being mad.

Being alive today is a reason to be glad.

Self care is life, Self care is important.

The ability to do great thing lies inside dormant.

How to start this great process, start with one brave step.

Out of the comfort zone, and eager to do your best.

Your dreams and passions are for you, they matter.

Pessimistic thoughts can cause dreams to shatter.

It's an uphill battle , just to say strong.

Used to listen to the people, found out they were wrong.

People can talk about things they know nothing about.

Make you feel like you're nuts every time you decide to shout.

You're not doing it on purpose, that what people don't see.

It's okay at times to feel angry.

Just don't let it cloud your judgment.

Attain that level of fulfillment.

At the end of the day, you're trying to do better.

Making that effort to get yourself together.

I am only here to tell you that you can do this.

Commit 

Don't Quit.

Enjoy yourself and Scooby Doo this S**t

BTFM

Being there for me , if you know what it means .

Means that no matter what kind of ship it is , you’re part of a team.

So why do I still feel alone ?

Even though that’s what you said, I don’t feel like I am at home .

When I wake up , I Moan.

When my back aches, I groan.

People can’t  see what I mean , I’m gone .

I’m been standing here , trying to show you something .

Giving me that hug when I am low means everything.

Praying to God to deliver me from this sadness.

Praying  I don’t succumb to my madness.

Therapy and medicine go hand in hand .

Those are cool but  I need someone that understands.

Encourages as friend and as a man.

Someone who can throw me a line that I catch with my hand .

Maybe I not making any kind of sense.

That’s because my brain is so tense.

Trying to relax.

Only speaking facts.

I’m tired of feeling this way.

I’m tired of this being the only thing I say .

Lord let me be okay .

I believe in him for better days.

Really trying not to give up..😖

 

Maybe I should give up.

Giving up on stuff.

I spend to fill a endless void.

To live like this is a choice .

I have this need to explain 

Even so it’s seem like all I do is complain.

Never really happy or at peace .

I don’t know how to really keep .

Keep whats important to me .

I’ve lost so many times .

I’ve wrote about this in so many lines.

I can’t act like I am fine .

Maybe it’s not in the cards.

All the pressure tells me it’s too hard.

All I want to  do is to go somewhere far .

No not the bar.

Somewhere I can think.

Where I can safely blink.

Where I don’t feel like all I am is a problem.

I have figure out how to solve them .

Cause what I am doing not ain’t working .

Gotta do something .

It’s better than doing nothing .

If I give up now , it’s really is the end of the story.

That’s when I really should worry .

I still have time to make it right .

Let please make it through these rough nights.

Let me not always resort to drinking 1-3 cans.

I’m not saying it’s impossible but it can be hard when you go down that path.

Gotta think about this as if it were math.

One person plus one opportunity equals a chance each day .

After all we tell the negatives not today .

I Still Got It...😕

Why am I in my head so much these days?

Lately in conversations , I really don’t have much to say .

One thing I know is that this  is depression.

Sounds like I’m in a need of a therapy session.

Yet when I speak I go off track.

When I get cut off, I just want to snap.

Trying to keep my cool or enough to stay sane.

Trying to hold on to my life in this crazy game.

I don’t want to be a burden to my friends.

I don’t want this to be the end.

Holding it all in so I don’t make anyone my therapist.

Gotta get back on my feet so I can take care of this .

Taking care of me overall is a necessity.

Too many opinions is something I don’t need.

Everyone has their place .

Everyone goes at their own pace .

So for right now I don’t need ppl all in my face .

When you aren’t the same they just leave you be.

I guess they think if they leave you alone so they can be free.

That’s just an opinion, I didn’t say i was right.

Speaking my mind on these lines here, I ain’t trying to fight .

So let me do right by me  and tell myself that it will be alright .

just wondering?

why  do I ask questions?

To understand  the current situation.

Don't want to get anxious or even overthink.

I've come so far after  being on the brink.

I never want to go back to that again.

Thats why I am taking this slowly,  I hope you can understand?

feels like I am in love.

This feeling can only come from above.

Love it when comes to kisses and hugs.

Its all smiles now, no more mean mugs.

When I look at you.

I see a person who accepts me for who I am and that's cool.

You see me for all that I've gone through.

I appreciate that. 

Let me cherish these moments with you instead of having an attack.

I know that I am still getting to understand the kind of person you are.

Even if you live pretty far.

It feel like you're so close.

Enjoying what we do the most.

I'm talking about the convos, the way that things just flow.

Mutually it helps us both.

Make me feel like there is some kind of hope.

Through my struggles, writing is how I cope.

Even now , I'm still writing but I've chosen to write about you.

I know I don't have to .

When you feel that warm feeling that doesn't leads to the motions.

Instead. To me you are more like the sight of a sunrise on the ocean. 

That's what I feel like  when I am with you just talking.

Spending time with 

Sleeping next to.

Where this life takes us, I hope it's where we can grow and prosper.