It's A Poem .

 Don't you just wonder, where do you go from here?

Well there is still time, its only the beginning of the year.

Circumstances are difficult and at times it just feels the worse.

The bible is calling , time to pick a verse.

Phillipians 4:13

I can do all things through christ which strengthen me.

 take that verse to heart.

The enemy is working on trying to make  you fall apart.

Telling you  that you aren't good enough.

That  you'll never make it  and you'll always be stuck.

Not me , not this guy.

Positive vibes.

Energy is way too high.  

In the end , we do what we can.

Not everyone will come to understand.

You are unique.

You are meant to be somebody.

Granted, it won't come right away.

There's bound to be good and bad days.

Just keep your faith strong.

Remember if something is said about you, it can be wrong.

It only has power if you let it.

Its not worth getting into a fit.

People just stew around in their own BullS**t.

Take heart of any small victories that may come.

Time is finite, it is one and done.

Mistakes can be made and learning from them is good.

Knowing at least that you did the best you could.

So each day is a chance to be better.

Even if the day comes with some ridiculous weather.

The storm is random but it never stays for long.

Predictions are something else at even at times, they can be wrong.

So go with the flow, let things happen naturally.

Clear your mind of doubt, for you have not seen true beauty.

This world we live in is the only one have.

it's really is bad to spend your time just being mad.

Being alive today is a reason to be glad.

Self care is life, Self care is important.

The ability to do great thing lies inside dormant.

How to start this great process, start with one brave step.

Out of the comfort zone, and eager to do your best.

Your dreams and passions are for you, they matter.

Pessimistic thoughts can cause dreams to shatter.

It's an uphill battle , just to say strong.

Used to listen to the people, found out they were wrong.

People can talk about things they know nothing about.

Make you feel like you're nuts every time you decide to shout.

You're not doing it on purpose, that what people don't see.

It's okay at times to feel angry.

Just don't let it cloud your judgment.

Attain that level of fulfillment.

At the end of the day, you're trying to do better.

Making that effort to get yourself together.

I am only here to tell you that you can do this.

Commit 

Don't Quit.

Enjoy yourself and Scooby Doo this S**t

BTFM

Being there for me , if you know what it means .

Means that no matter what kind of ship it is , you’re part of a team.

So why do I still feel alone ?

Even though that’s what you said, I don’t feel like I am at home .

When I wake up , I Moan.

When my back aches, I groan.

People can’t  see what I mean , I’m gone .

I’m been standing here , trying to show you something .

Giving me that hug when I am low means everything.

Praying to God to deliver me from this sadness.

Praying  I don’t succumb to my madness.

Therapy and medicine go hand in hand .

Those are cool but  I need someone that understands.

Encourages as friend and as a man.

Someone who can throw me a line that I catch with my hand .

Maybe I not making any kind of sense.

That’s because my brain is so tense.

Trying to relax.

Only speaking facts.

I’m tired of feeling this way.

I’m tired of this being the only thing I say .

Lord let me be okay .

I believe in him for better days.

Really trying not to give up..😖

 

Maybe I should give up.

Giving up on stuff.

I spend to fill a endless void.

To live like this is a choice .

I have this need to explain 

Even so it’s seem like all I do is complain.

Never really happy or at peace .

I don’t know how to really keep .

Keep whats important to me .

I’ve lost so many times .

I’ve wrote about this in so many lines.

I can’t act like I am fine .

Maybe it’s not in the cards.

All the pressure tells me it’s too hard.

All I want to  do is to go somewhere far .

No not the bar.

Somewhere I can think.

Where I can safely blink.

Where I don’t feel like all I am is a problem.

I have figure out how to solve them .

Cause what I am doing not ain’t working .

Gotta do something .

It’s better than doing nothing .

If I give up now , it’s really is the end of the story.

That’s when I really should worry .

I still have time to make it right .

Let please make it through these rough nights.

Let me not always resort to drinking 1-3 cans.

I’m not saying it’s impossible but it can be hard when you go down that path.

Gotta think about this as if it were math.

One person plus one opportunity equals a chance each day .

After all we tell the negatives not today .

I Still Got It...😕

Why am I in my head so much these days?

Lately in conversations , I really don’t have much to say .

One thing I know is that this  is depression.

Sounds like I’m in a need of a therapy session.

Yet when I speak I go off track.

When I get cut off, I just want to snap.

Trying to keep my cool or enough to stay sane.

Trying to hold on to my life in this crazy game.

I don’t want to be a burden to my friends.

I don’t want this to be the end.

Holding it all in so I don’t make anyone my therapist.

Gotta get back on my feet so I can take care of this .

Taking care of me overall is a necessity.

Too many opinions is something I don’t need.

Everyone has their place .

Everyone goes at their own pace .

So for right now I don’t need ppl all in my face .

When you aren’t the same they just leave you be.

I guess they think if they leave you alone so they can be free.

That’s just an opinion, I didn’t say i was right.

Speaking my mind on these lines here, I ain’t trying to fight .

So let me do right by me  and tell myself that it will be alright .

just wondering?

why  do I ask questions?

To understand  the current situation.

Don't want to get anxious or even overthink.

I've come so far after  being on the brink.

I never want to go back to that again.

Thats why I am taking this slowly,  I hope you can understand?

feels like I am in love.

This feeling can only come from above.

Love it when comes to kisses and hugs.

Its all smiles now, no more mean mugs.

When I look at you.

I see a person who accepts me for who I am and that's cool.

You see me for all that I've gone through.

I appreciate that. 

Let me cherish these moments with you instead of having an attack.

I know that I am still getting to understand the kind of person you are.

Even if you live pretty far.

It feel like you're so close.

Enjoying what we do the most.

I'm talking about the convos, the way that things just flow.

Mutually it helps us both.

Make me feel like there is some kind of hope.

Through my struggles, writing is how I cope.

Even now , I'm still writing but I've chosen to write about you.

I know I don't have to .

When you feel that warm feeling that doesn't leads to the motions.

Instead. To me you are more like the sight of a sunrise on the ocean. 

That's what I feel like  when I am with you just talking.

Spending time with 

Sleeping next to.

Where this life takes us, I hope it's where we can grow and prosper.

Last one of the year👌🏾

 

Today is a new day

I’m going to enjoy it no matter what anyone says.

I am reminding myself that I am in control.

Reminding myself to be wary of the deep hole.

I’ve been Sparta kicked down so many times .

I fell off writing these lines,  back here again with the rhymes.

I rhyme because times are hard.

I rhyme because it beats drinking the whole bar.

Whether some reads it or not is what matters.

It’s my will and mental state I refuse to let shatter.

I only have one life.

When times get hard I don’t need the knife.

I just need a day with the sun.

To clear my mind and to have some fun.

Whether that be dueling or playing RE.

Reguardless of what people may think of me.

I’m still here despite everything.

I’m grateful for that .

Listening to those encouraging facts.

Grabbing my bag full of snacks.

Laughing instead of having anxiety attacks.

So here it the last poem of the year.

So long 2020 , to this year of fears.

They have come and now they are gone .

I have no desire to repeat the same song .

My only desire is not make myself open when I’m sad.

 Not Going back and asking  for what I used to have.

No need to now.

No reason to ask me how.

Just know I am focused.

Like Smokey says and you know this....

Mannn

2020😒

 

You know whats funny.

This whole year called 2020.

Let me tell you why.

First of all, I’m just one guy.

Yet alone I’ve been tested so much.

Covid came and gave no fucks.

It still here and it’s just getting worse.

Feeling nothing but the pain and the hurt.

Everyone is going through it and it’s no different On my end.

I’m still looking for that person that understands.

Cause I know who I am .

I do what I can .

I can’t save everyone when I need to work on me .

I’m alone right now , maybe it’s destiny.

Cause love isn’t really there for one thing.

Just have to keep it together through this recovery.

I know I need to have faith.

I need to realize that everyone makes mistakes.

Even wish I didn’t and still had you.

I wouldn’t feel so blue.

I know not everyone can handle me

Comparing me to the toxicity.

You say what you want , it’s going to come back.

if I manage to survive the verbal  attack.

I did nothing to hurt anyone but still I did in someway.

Somehow ...😓

That’s not the way to start the day.