Why couldn’t I see it ?

Why didn’t I see it?
Why did it all come down to this.?
I felt this way for about a while.
I’ll be honest ,I was in denial.

I didn’t want to listen to my friends.
I didn’t really want to understand.
After the fact I feel like a broken man.
Here am I still doing what I can.

Trying to sleep but all I get nightmares.
All I want to do is picture you there.
You without all the darkness in your soul.
Who knows? That relationship could have been whole.

Why at night do I find the time to write these lines and pretend I’m fine?
I’m pretty sure anyone could see through my lie.
Lying to get through these hard days
That ain’t right but here what I’ll say.

I will do better to make the lie into the truth.
I want to do better for myself, is that cool?
I may not always be happy but that counts even you.
I don’t ever again want to be that fool.
Ever again....