Do you ever feeling like nothing you say matters ?
No one there to the rescue when the heart just shatters.
All those close people who leave at that moment.
Every now and again here comes a judgmental comment.
It makes you feel like as if your existence is pointless.
Even though make an effort to be selfless.
I know that I am good and caring.
I love what I do and what the next day will bring.
What I hate when I get left behind.
Why is it me , when I’ve been kind.
I don’t understand .
I’m not an ordinary man.
I don’t have ego or try to say I am better than rest.
I can’t even leave the house without a pain in my chest.
I don’t get why no one sees me.
Whenever I am crying.
On the nights when I feel like I’m dying.
No one is there.
I get judged for my drinking, I know it’s not a solution.
What can I do then?
Im not holding any grudges against those who hurt me.
I’m no longer in your life and your happy.
Happy with those you love.
At least god is watching me from above.
I’m grateful for that.
Especially when it’s bad.
I’m not going to give up
Even if Im left behind . Even if I get forgotten about. Even if someone decides to ask me just for help. Even if someone ask for me by mistake.
All these things are in my cup.
It really does suck.
I don’t think y’all see that at all.
You take my words as depressing and let me fall.
Help me...
It’s so lonely...
Would that be so bad or would you find it draining , overwhelming, or even suffocating?
Sad that people think that way .
I don’t wake up hoping for a bad day.
I just don’t want to be a bother after all I’ve done for people . That’s what i say.
I got a therapist so I’m not trying to make y’all that .
Tired of my chest hurting from these attacks.
I don’t want to die so then you can say you care.
How’s that fair?
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