Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Insomnia

 



There is the one story that I wish tell. 

Even now in my mind, it gives me hell.

The thing in the night.

That wakes me up with such a fright.

I just wish talking about it were easy.

It’s not though. Makes my stomach queasy.

Makes me think the whole time I was the bad guy.

Got me doubting my beliefs and asking God why?

I though that I could be better than this.

Like walking across ice and trying not to slip.

Trying not stumble and trip.

Trying to keep it contain so that I don’t flip.

It’s been a couple of years since I’ve dealt with this shit.

It messes with my head.

Make me believe I shouldn’t exist instead,

Yes I know the poem is depressing.

It’s overwhelming.

That’s how I’m feeling right now 

Don’t know how .

Even though I’m writing this on a bus.

On my way to work saying to myself, Good luck.

Right now I wish I didn’t give a fuck.

That’s not me at all.

I care too much even as I fall.

Falling down on my knees to the ground.

Crying slowly as I don’t make a sound.

As my heart slowly pounds.

I wonder is it enough to have me around ?

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